The Fantasy of Social Media – The Hippo Model
In our constantly-connected world, it’s easy to buy into the illusion of intimacy. Compared to times past, we know more about our friends and family than ever before: What they eat; where they hiked last weekend; excuses for why they don’t go hiking more often; who else they’re friends with; which of the Golden Girls they’re most like; oh look, they’re eating again…; their resurfacing traumas after watching the latest Disney/Pixar movie; and the list goes on!
In fact, sometimes we find ourselves wishing we knew less about the day-to-day lives of our friends and family.
With this constant access and never-ending, ever-growing stream of status updates and messages it’s easy to forget a crucial fact about social media.
It is curated.
When we look at a person’s social media feed, we’re seeing just the surface-level details of someone’s life.
Every single picture, every single post, is a piece of that person’s life they chose to share. Some share more openly, others are more guarded, but no social media feed is a 100% accurate portrait of that person’s daily life. Yes, you know what that person ate for every meal today, but how much do you know about the health of their bowel movements (barring that one “TMI” friend we all have)?
Some more serious examples:
Yay, George got a new job! That seemed quick, but how many applications did he have to put in before he even got an interview?
Break out the champagne, Skyler got engaged! But how many failed dates did they keep to themselves before they met “the one”?
Linda’s tricked out new 4x4 truck sure looks luxurious, but how many extra shifts is she taking on to pay for it?
Matt sure is looking buff these days! What is that, the 6th picture he’s posted flexing in front of a mirror today? But how many hours a day is he devoting to the gym to look like that?
Every single success in a person’s life comes at some kind of cost. For every success, there is an equal or greater amount of hard work, doubt, sacrifice, disappointment, persistence, and failure behind it.
But when we see the highlights of someone’s life laid out in front of us, with their struggles kept in the shadows, it can be easy to make some faulty assumptions about ourselves and the world around us, such as:
I’m a failure.
I’m just not talented enough.
Other people have it easier than me. Life isn’t fair.
I must not be as good as other people.
I don’t deserve good things.
When we look at the bigger picture, however, we can see these assumptions are not accurate.
And here’s a secret: That person you’re so harshly comparing yourself to is looking at their social media feed and having those same assumptions about themself as they scroll through their friends’ highlights before bed.
So next time you get stuck comparing yourself to your friend’s highlight reel, remember the hippo! Remember what lies beneath the surface of success. Be proud of your friend’s hard work, and easy on yourself as you trudge along the path to get there yourself!
-Kylyn
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