In our constantly-connected world, it’s easy to buy into the illusion of intimacy. Compared to times past, we know more about our friends and family than ever before: What they eat; where they hiked last weekend; excuses for why they don’t go hiking more often; who else they’re friends with; which of the Golden Girls they’re most like; oh look, they’re eating again…; their resurfacing traumas after watching the latest Disney/Pixar movie; and the list goes on!

In fact, sometimes we find ourselves wishing we knew less about the day-to-day lives of our friends and family.

With this constant access and never-ending, ever-growing stream of status updates and messages it’s easy to forget a crucial fact about social media.

It is curated.

When we’re faced with intense feelings, our body and mind have a natural reaction to distance us from the situation as a defense mechanism. This leads many people to feel disoriented or disconnected from reality in those moments, and more connected to those fears and anxieties that are taking over.

Grounding techniques are a way to help us regain that connection to our environment and pull ourselves back to the here and now.

Dear Out of the Rain,

I’ve been having trouble sleeping since the pandemic hit. Do you have any suggestions?

-Sleepless in Coos County

Dear Out of the Rain,

How do I stop waffling between procrastinating and doing too much? I procrastinate stuff until it builds up, then I feel like I've got to get it done all at once in one big rush. I get pretty overwhelmed and get stuck feeling like I HAVE to figure it all out so I don't disappoint.

-Merging In and Out of the Fast Lane

Dear Out of the Rain,

I really enjoy my free time and have a lot of hobbies. If I’m not at my job I’m usually working on some project or another.

I’ve been getting more and more depressed by the idea that I might have wasted all this time I could have spent getting really good at just one thing, instead of being “okay” at a bunch.

How can I put blinders on so I can focus on just a single hobby instead of always jumping between them?

-Looking for Focus

Dear Out of the Rain,

“I've got two offers to continue my education. One is generalized for my field of study and is low cost. The other is oriented to a specific career path and is free. The free offer is in a field that is more difficult to succeed, but I find more emotionally gratifying.

The big issue is, do I go with the career I like but don't love, or the one I love but has less guaranteed success.”

- At a Crossroads

Dear Out of the Rain,

I'm a very codependent type getting out of an abusive relationship with someone I would say is very narcissistic. I have a lot of fears going forward about attempting any new relationships.

How do you know if someone is laying a 'narcissistic trap' of a relationship or is genuinely very romantic and loving, and enthusiastically so, and not just 'acting' that way because it feeds their need? It’s enough to make my head spin.

-Looking for Light on the Path

Dear Out of the Rain,

My family and I have always been very close.

Over the past year it seems like everyone just made the decision to go our separate ways. Between just the distance and COVID we barely see each other any more.

What can I do to reconnect with my family?

-Come Back Home

Dear Out of the Rain,

I get pretty stressed about not having enough time for myself or knowing what to do when I have it. Tips?

- Never Enough Time