Ask Out of the Rain: How can I get more time?

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Dear Out of the Rain,

I get pretty stressed about not having enough time for myself or knowing what to do when I have it. Tips?

- Never Enough Time

Dear Never,

Time management is a challenge for many of us (myself included). In fact, I would be hesitant to believe someone who claimed to truly have enough time in their day!

Without more information about what’s taking up your time it’s difficult to give specific advice, but what I can do is give some general tips. Feel free to send a follow-up question with more details if you’d like feedback more specific to your issue.

As boring of an answer as this is, structure is really going to be your best friend! In my experience, we tend to not recognize how much “free time” we have actually have during the day. A bit of structure can help us reclaim it!

While it may feel strange at first, I recommend scheduling/planning not only your responsibilities but your personal time as well! Speaking from experience, if I don’t have an evening planned out (with the promise of personal time somewhere in there) I’m more likely to “steal” time for myself at various points throughout the night. By the end of the night, I realize I stole a handful of ten minute sessions on social media or in the dark void that is tiktok. Sometimes that may be an hour or more!

On the other hand, if I set aside that hour at some point in my evening I’m much less likely to “steal” time as I go along. This means I end up more focused on my responsibilities in the moment and get to be intentional about how I spend my free time. I would much rather take an hour of time doing what I actually want (which at the moment is binging Big Bang Theory) than spending six 10-minute sessions on social media (or some other distraction) spread throughout the night.

Sometimes we can blame an overflowing plate for that lack of time to ourselves. It’s crucial to prioritize our “me time” especially when our to-do lists are overwhelming us. Many of us end up feeling a lot of guilt prioritizing personal time, feeling like we are slacking off or shirking responsibilities. This leads many to go in the opposite direction and minimize this self-care time to maximize our productivity. In reality, this personal time is crucial to “recharge our batteries” and ensure we can be as productive as possible. Avoiding this recharge can create a vicious cycle of stress and unproductivity.

In terms of not knowing how to spend your personal time when you have it, this can often be a result of this lack of intention as well. If we don’t properly prioritize and make space for free time, it can often come as a surprise when we get it. Often this means we go to the old standby of scrolling through our phones (man, I really need to uninstall tiktok) or even deciding to spend that time working towards our to-do lists instead. It can feel like structure will take the “fun” out of “fun time” but in practice it’s often spontaneity that ends up being the surprise killer.

While not quite the topic of this question, setting at least a bare-bones daily/weekly schedule for yourself and your family can alleviate a lot of problems, including reclaiming this lost or stolen time. Just make sure your personal time is part of the equation!

If you have a question you’d like to see answered in Baggage Check (or even feedback on today’s topic), you can submit it at outoftherain.life/ask.

-Kylyn